- Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf
Infobox Person
name = Hank
the Angry Drunken Dwarf
image_size = 150px
birth_date = birth date|1962|4|20
birth_place =Fall River, Massachusetts
death_date = Death date and age|2001|9|4|1962|4|20
death_place =Fall River, Massachusetts Henry Joseph Nasiff Jr. (
April 20 ,1962 –September 4 ,2001 ), better known as Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, appeared numerous times on "The Howard Stern Show " as a member of the show'sWack Pack . He beganAugust 16 ,1996 when he entered the studio ofradio station WXRK (K-Rock) inNew York City . As his nickname suggests, Nasiff was invariably inebriated during his radio appearances and had a sharp tongue for anyone who annoyed him. Despite constant admonitions not to curse over the airwaves, Hank's chronic intoxication rendered him incapable of containing his frequent obscene outbursts.Nasiff was born and lived in
Fall River, Massachusetts . He was height|ft=4|in=1 tall, and weighed convert|95|lb|kg st|abbr=on|lk=on. He has said on the show that he is of Lebanese descent.In 1998,
People magazine ran an online poll to determine the most beautiful people in the world, where somebody facetiously entered Nasiff as awrite-in candidate . Nasiff won the contest, receiving hundreds of thousands of votes. At the time the online poll was launched, "People" led voters to believe that it would influence the printmagazine 's annual listing of "the most beautiful people." "People" refused to allow online votes to influence the magazine results. The poll was configured so that users could vote multiple times, by deleting a cookie given from the site. Many contestants had scripts written that would allow users to vote repeatedly. Other unlikely candidates in that polls' top 10 includedThey Might Be Giants keyboardistJohn Linnell and wrestlerRic Flair .Nasiff had a brief
acting career, with parts ranging fromGod ("Citizen Toxie:The Toxic Avenger Part 4") to Mini-Devil ("Bikini Bandits Go To Hell "). He also appeared in the independent films "Shoeshine Boys" and "Pint Fiction" a dwarf version of "Pulp Fiction". Nasiff also appeared in a 2001 episode of the Stern produced "Son of the Beach " television show ("It's a Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude World").As a popular member of "
The Wack Pack ", Nasiff parlayed his Stern Show exposure into personal appearances all over the country, mostly strip clubs and bachelor parties, where he would, invariably, get drunk and insult party-goers, much to their delight. Nasiff's success waned once Beetlejuice emerged on the scene, which led to a rivalry between the two which culminated in several on-air confrontations. Nasiff and true Stern fans dispute that Beetlejuice was in fact a bigger star causing Hank's success to wane. In fact, Nasiff's popularity rose consistently until and even after his death. The two would berate and threaten each other, entertaining Stern's fans but ultimately never doing more than arguing. Upon learning of Hank's death, Beetlejuice cried profusely, calling him "my friend."Hank knew a great deal of
rock & roll trivia and competed on the Stern Show against producerGary Dell'Abate . After Hank won one competition onApril 25 ,2001 , the intoxicated, diminutive celebrity announced he was sleepy, laid down on the floor of the radio studio, and slept. Howard announced "Gary, you lost to this mess."Hank's favorite drink was
vodka , which he usually swigged from a soda bottle.In November 2000, Hank was dispatched in a bunny suit to taunt the magician
David Blaine as Blaine was encased in a block of ice for his stunt "Frozen in Time." The same month, Nasiff suffered aseizure while making an appearance forJ&B scotch at a bar in Los Angeles.Hank was found dead in his home in Fall River on
September 4 ,2001 . Stern, cast and crew, "The Wack Pack ", and fans were in deep mourning until interrupted by theSeptember 11, 2001 attacks ; prior to the attacks, a large impromptu memorial had been erected outside WXRK by Stern's and Hank's fans. Medical experts suggest that what led to Nassif's death was a combination ofcirrhosis of the liver and internal organ compression due to his stunted height. According to hisdeath certificate , Nasiff died of aseizure disorder . Other significant conditions contributing to his death werealcohol abuse andchondrodystrophy .Howard Stern revealed on his radio show that a show employee had attempted on multiple occasions to get Hank help for his alcoholism, which was refused. [Howard Stern Show, 9/15/08-9/18/08] .Hank's first-ever appearance was ranked as #7 in the Howard Stern's All-Request special show, broadcast on Sirius on
September 9 ,2006 .Memorable quotes
*"Go have sex with
Jesus Christ , you faggot!" - Howard Stern show
*"Go have sex with your mother!" - Howard Stern show (sometimes followed by "wi-i-i-imp")
*"I could have a better conversation with a corpse!" - Howard Stern show (regarding Beetlejuice)
*"I got class. You don't even have an ass." - Howard Stern show
*"I like to drink to take the edge off." - Howard Stern show
*"I'm not a midget. I'm a dwarf, you asshole!"' - Howard Stern show
*"I'm not drunk. I've just been drinkin'." - Howard Stern show
*"Politicians have the brain of a retardedquahog with brain damage." - Howard Stern show
*"Your ancestors used to work for my ancestors." - Howard Stern show (in a fight with Beetlejuice)
*"I don't believe inGod , I believe inBudweiser " - Howard Stern showee also
*
Howard Stern
*The Wack Pack
*Beetlejuice (entertainer) External links
*Yahoo directory|/News_and_Media/Radio/Programs/Howard_Stern_Show/Wack_Pack/Nastiff_Jr___Hank__The_Angry__Drunken_Dwarf___1962_2001_/|Hank Nastiff (The Angry, Drunken Dwarf) (1962-2001)
* [http://www.uuworld.org/2002/02/commentary.html "An Unexpected Connection,"] by Dan Kennedy, "Unitarian Universalist World", March/April 2002References
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